Montana Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above
    Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
    Montana people sunbathe.

50 above
    New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
    Montana people plant gardens.

40 above
    Italian cars won't start.
    Montana people drive with the windows down.

32 above
    Distilled water freezes.
    Canyon Ferry water gets thicker.

20 above
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    Montana people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

15 above
    New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
    Montana people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees
    Californians fly away to Mexico.
    Montana people lick the flagpole.

20 below
    People in Miami cease to exist.
    Montana people get out their winter coats.

40 below
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    Montana Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

60 below
    Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica (gotcha - there are no bears in the antartic...).
    Montana Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80 below
    Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
    Montana people rent some videos.

100 below
    Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
    Montana people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

297 below
    Microbial life survives on dairy products.
    Montana cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below
    ALL atomic motion stops.
    Montana people start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below
    Hell freezes over.
    Governor Martz wins re-election.